Porndude

TSDates One of the great things about being the internationally famous Porn Dude is that bitches always want my cock. I find it when I’m out and about, and I also find it online, and I always want it with no strings attached. Speaking of strings attached, the broads on this dating site come with that extra bonus bit dangling between the legs. Yes, ladies and gentlemen and shemales of legal ages, TSdates.com is exactly what it sounds like. The header on TS Dates calls it a Premium Adult Transsexual Dating site, which is what you were hoping for, right? On any dating site, you want plenty of people signed up and connected at any point. You’ll never get a tranny to shake her dick in your face if you’re looking for one in a virtual ghost town. TSdates claims to have nearly 100 million members, which is “More single, local transsexual hotties than any other sites!”

Fetish.com Do you have a Fetish? If you answered “Yes,” I’m sure it’d be nice to have somebody to indulge that kink with, huh? Maybe you’re lucky and already have a fat lady to step on your face, a submissive babe who lets you tie her up, or a couple who let you do their dishes naked while calling you a filthy pig. If you don’t, maybe it’s about time you started looking around for one. Hell, thanks to the magic of the Internet, nobody should ever settle for a lame-ass partner who doesn’t get the subtleties of BDSM or the proper way to tie a clove hitch knot. Of course, it helps to know where to look. Fetish.com is a thriving worldwide community of perverts with kinks. As you might expect from the one-word domain, the brand has been around for a good long while, though this current incarnation popped up around 2015. Craigslist may have ditched the Casual Encounters years ago, but it’s nice to know there are still places where consenting adults can meet up on the Internet to figure out where to meet up in real life before banging each other with the unlubricated handle end of a cat-o-nine tails. Okay, before we go in, you should probably tell me your safe word.

SugarBook sounds like a collection of recipes your mom used to keep on the shelf, an encyclopedia-style archive of formulas for tooth-rotting sweets and finger-staining confections. As a dude with a lot of vices, I can’t say I was totally against the idea of lighting up my brain with glucose, sucrose and dextrose, but this is ThePornDude and I am The Porn Dude. Sugar is nice, but I wouldn’t be reviewing the site here unless it could help you cum. It ain’t a free tube or a premium porno site, but Sugarbook.com can still help you get your rocks off. Better yet, it can help you find a beautiful woman to help you get those rocks off, provided you’ve got a few more dollars in your pocket than the average jobless loser on Tinder. If you haven’t figured out what I’m talking about from the name and my vague description, allow me to clear things up: this is a social network aimed at sugar babies and sugar daddies. They get a few hundred thousand visits every month, so with any luck, I’ll be able to find a girl who thinks my wallet looks hot.

MySugarDaddy has the kind of title that’s hard to work into an opening line without suggesting I’ve got a fat-pocketed dude footing my bills in exchange for a little romance. Personally, I tend to be on the opposite side of such exchanges, and knowing my readers, I bet you are, too. Sometimes Tinder feels a little too low-class for the jet set, champagne chugging motherfuckers out there, especially if you already know what you’re looking for in a relationship. In case you couldn’t figure it out from the name, MySugarDaddy.com is a dating site aimed at sugar babies and sugar daddies. They’ve been around for years now and get close to a million visitors a month, which says a lot about the platform as a whole. Whether you’re looking for a dude to take care of you or you want to do the taking care, they aim to take a lot of the bullshit and the guesswork out of the equation. Let’s see how well they live up to my expectations.

SugarDaddyMeet I’ve gotten some flack over the years for my visits to high-class escorts and back-alley crackwhore BJs. I’ve had people tell me it’s better to hook-up with local fatties on Tinder, or use some expensive computer-dating service that will match me with somebody based on a 4-hour fucking test I have to take first. Fuck that tripe. What if I just want a hot chick to love me for my money? Well, SugarDaddyMeet attempts to answer that question. Since 2007, SugarDaddyMeet.com has been helping monied motherfuckers meet the babes of their dreams. If you’re looking for a sugar baby, this is your type of dating site. (And if you’re a good-looking broad who likes money, you should probably sign up, too.) They only serve the top 20 richest countries, so apologies in advance to that wealthy Nigerian prince who keeps emailing me. They’ve got a mobile app available, though it still lacks certain features of the website, so I’ll be doing this review on the web version.

SwingersDateClub aka SDC Swingers aka SDC.com! Not every website that you visit in order to feed your endlessly lustful appetites has to be an orgiastic smorgasbord of escorts and porn and all-out fuck fests with anal gaping and deepthroating and double penetration galore. Consider for a moment that you might take some time out of your day to become a little more enlightened about sexuality. Have you ever stopped to consider that possibility? That you might educate yourself on the nature of sexuality, self-reflect on the nature of your own sexuality, and take into consideration the sexualities of others? No? Well, I’m not surprised, seeing as idly scanning your eyes over the words of this review is likely to be the most reading that you’ll do all month. But you should consider doing it more. Reading is how people get smarter, have good ideas, learn new things, become more interesting. And do you know what all of those qualities add up to eventually? Getting laid. That’s right … don’t let the current ‘leader’ of the free world trick you into thinking otherwise because he’s stupid as a sack of potatoes and managed to fuck a porn star.

HighReply Somebody mentioned HighReply this morning, and my first thought was that it had to be a dating app for stoners, potheads, highons, burnouts, druggies, hippies, as well as recreational cannabis consumers. I know the word “high” has multiple meanings, but context counts for a lot. I’m the kind of guy who sometimes browses Tinder with bloodshot eyes and a whole big-ass bag of Cheetos in my lap, in which case almost every message I send is a high reply. My hunch was wrong, though. HighReply.com is a nicely polished dating site and app, with an emphasis on quality profiles and a few unexpected features. The platform’s been around for about a year or so as of this writing, and the website alone gets about 10,000 visits a month. That ain’t much compared to the big-name competition, but web traffic stats are just not the greatest indicator of an app’s popularity or its quality. I’ve got a few days until my next visit from a pornstar on the PornDudeCasting couch, so it seemed like a good moment to cast my net and see who I could catch.

Heated Affairs calls itself the World’s Largest Cheating Site, which is kind of a bold-ass claim for a joint getting just a tenth of the traffic they’re pulling over at Ashley Madison. Then again, a tenth of ten million is a pretty fucking deep pool of potential partners, so I ain’t ready to start scoffing just yet. In fact, looking at those traffic stats made me even more eager to get inside and see who needs a bit of PornDude dick on the side. If it happens to be your wife, well, it’s nothing personal, friend.I’m sure you can totally understand, seeing as you’re here reading this review. It’s a little hard to claim innocence when you’re looking up info on HeatedAffairs.com, a dating site aimed at cheating spouses. Now, the site has been around in some form or another for a while now, with a domain registered in 2013 and a copyright date stretching all the way back to 1996. They caught my attention because traffic has gone way the fuck up over the last few months, nearly quadrupling from the beginning of the year. This is the kind of site where the more, the merrier, so let’s see how those visitor numbers translate to hookup opportunities.

UberHornyIt can be a pain in the ass going out there to meet horny sluts. So many bitches these days have dumb fucking expectations for a “relationship” or “something stable.” Man, screw that. I just want to take a dime piece back to my pad and fuck her pussy raw until she has to stumble out in the middle of the night because, you cucks know, I’m not letting her spend the night. It can be tough to find sluts out in the wild who are down with that. Usually, the only chicks interested are way too fucking drunk or blasted out of their minds, and I’m not trying to catch a court case. So, I go online where broads are more willing to spread their legs for strangers on the internet. And that’s where I came across Uberhorny.com. It’s a meet-up site that has been around for right around a decade. Notice that I didn’t say a dating site. There’s no d-word here. This site is all about meeting up and getting laid. None of that annoying feeling shit getting in the way. So if you’re a dude looking to get some pussy then this is the place. Or, hell, maybe you’re a kinky bitch looking to get dicked down. Either way, this site brings in nearly 1 million visitors every single month, so they have to be doing something right.