Xpanded My dick Xpanded this morning as I checked out the website of the same name, which is precisely what you want in any decent adult entertainment platform. But, of course, it’s easy enough to catch my ding-dong’s attention with a flash of cleavage or a pretty face with a fuck-me expression; the challenge is maintaining my attention when I’ve got a whole internet full of porno to choose from. It isn’t like Xpanded is some unheard of, untested operation, though, having been around for the better part of two decades. That alone tells me as much about their quality as the nearly million visitors they’re pulling every month. So just what exactly is Xpanded.com hawking that you can’t get from any random free video tube, nude blog, or premium bukkake network? The big gimmick here is intimacy, a type of one-on-one connection you can’t get from any big studio. According to the little blurb at the bottom of the landing page, “xxXpanded is number one for phone sex and live adult cams with the hottest UK and international babes.” It’s the kind of bold claim I expect from anybody with peep show tickets to sell, so I had to look into those statements for myself.
SextPanther Remember the days of telephone hotlines? I remember. I’m that old. For the uninitiated, phone sex hotlines used to exist back before we had the internet, and theoretically, they’re still there somewhere in your daily newspaper. Look for them towards the last pages of the paper, in a corner somewhere. These bitches currently make pennies on the dollar because the internet’s streamlined damn near everything to the point that phone sex is no longer a viable option to fap. It’s much easier just to watch a porn video and jerk off that way. You could do it on your phone or your computer. It doesn’t matter. It’s easier to fap online than it is over the phone. But there are still people who crave the personal touch. That’s always been the point of phone sex, after all. You want to know that the person on the other side of the line is yours exclusively. You want to know that they’re listening to you and talking back to you – there’s a give and take that you can’t get from pornography. You want to engage in a two-way conversation with another human being to get your rocks off. Well, I won’t judge you. It’s a lonely world. These past few years especially have been hard on everyone. But I’m not looking to date this article. The point is, people are lonely, and they’re trying their best to find ways to connect with other people on the internet.
SlutRoulette been around since 2010, and it looks like they popped up in direct response to ChatRoulette. If you don’t remember or never heard of the original in random nudie cams, allow me to refresh you. ChatRoulette is pretty much what it sounds like. Instead of choosing who to video chat with, you’re paired with some other random. If you don’t like them, you just keep clicking until you get a chat partner you like. It sounds simple, but it was a novel idea back in 2009. I don’t think anybody realized what the big problem would be, but it became instantly apparent to anybody who logged into ChatRoulette. Some people were chatting, sure, but it was hard not to be overwhelmed by the utter onslaught of penis cams. I know it was some of you perverted motherfuckers, too. You saw the opportunity to expose your cock to unsuspecting, pretty girls around the world and you took it. Hey, I don’t blame you. Sometimes you just want to show a broad your dick.
SweepSex I honestly lament sometimes for the porn loving motherfuckers who came before us and, just a couple of decades ago, had to indulge in porn adventures in the most archaic ways imaginable. These days, on the other hand, it’s never been easier for people like me and you to not only get our hands on porn but also live out the kind of kinky fun we’ve seen on our screens in real life. Like, all one has to do is click a button or get their phone out of their pocket, and they will be brought into a collection of instantly accessible porn that is able to keep them occupied until the end of their days and they still wouldn’t have even scratched the surface of all the wonderful filth that is on offer around the world, either. And it doesn’t even end there!
CooMeet has one of the most weird-ass names I’ve seen attached to a random video chat site, but I can understand wanting to break from the mold. The format has a reputation for offering up faceless boner after faceless after faceless boner, and maybe the soft murmur of a dove can push the mental image from your head. I’ll tell you right now that I saw neither dicks nor pigeons during my visit to the platform, but I did get to see some live naked boobies! CooMeet.com is a video chat app that connects you to a random babe for some one-on-one time. They get close to 6 million visitors a month to the website alone, and that ain’t even counting the folks just using the official mobile versions. The popularity was enough to catch my attention, because it suggests a much bigger pool of potential partners than most adult-oriented conversation platforms. The only question was, would it be dirty enough for a depraved pervert like your old pal The Porn Dude? Read on, my friends, and I’ll tell you all about it.
ImLive Want to see some cam sluts at Im Live? In our current age of the internet, we have access to pics and videos of every single sick fuck-minded fetish and nastiness we can ever want. This includes eels up bitches’ asses. But what is one thing that people are losing out on in modern society? Real human interaction. Well, fuck that shit, who the hell has the time to get dressed and actually go out into the real world for that shit? That’s why we got ImLive.com. ImLive is a living legend of a camwhore site that offers your dick thousands of webcam models to choose from. You can talk to them, ask them to do shit, give them money, and all kinds of degenerate shit without having to leave your bedroom or change your diaper. Now that’s my shit.
Flirtbate has one of the best titles I’ve seen on a porn website in years, in part because it sounds like something that’s been around for years. There’s a certain familiarity to it that might owe a little to earlier platforms, though the words they’ve smooshed together speak for themselves. I knew what the portmanteau was hinting at even before I clicked the link, so I wasn’t surprised to find a webcam site at the other end. This ain’t another generic Chaturbate knockoff, though. This one aims to be even more intimate than the usual internet peep shows you’re already tuning in to see. So, you ready to spend the evening flirting and masturbating?