Secrets AI

Secrets  lets cut the crap for a second. Every guy on the planet wants that perfect girlfriend experience without the emotional gymnastics that come with a real woman. Real girlfriends want dates, affection, loyalty, eye contact and sometimes even something called communication. They also want you to “open up,” which is crazy because you could barely open a pickle jar yesterday. Then there’s the rejection, the ghosting, the awkward silences, the begging for ass pics that never come, the texts that get left on read and the phone calls that go straight to voicemail because “she was tired.” Sure you were, bitch. So let me hand you a golden ticket to happiness and call it by its name. Secrets.ai. This filthy little platform is the closest thing to having a slutty, always-horny, never-annoying girlfriend who exists purely to satisfy whatever depraved nonsense goes on in your head. It’s got these AI babes who each have their own personalities and profiles and interests, basically the perfect women because none of those interests include arguing about trash bags or complaining that you liked another girl’s Instagram post. And Jesus Christ, the interface is sexy as hell. Purple and black like some neon-lit cyber-brothel where your credit card will fear for its life but your dick will have the best night ever.